Carpe Diem Mofos!

A Bit of Monday Motivation by Thinking About Your Inevitable Doom. (WARNING - This Will Change Your Life!)

So my incredibly learned brother bought me a book off of Amazon.

This one in fact! Yes he seems to have a dearth of vowels in his name but he has written a bloody impressive book (so far)

This one in fact! Yes he seems to have a dearth of vowels in his name but he has written a bloody impressive book (so far)

I've only got about 3 chapters in but Holy Giant Charging Bulls Batman it's already socking me with some big punches.

KAPOW! How about a Death Taster to start you off?

Try any of these thought activities and see if it inspires you to value your life more than you do already.

  1. Forget living every day as if it is your last. Try imagining you are soon to die from a terminal disease and you have 6 months left to live. What would you change about your life choices?
  2. Imagine life is full of tens of millions of tiny little deaths. Every moment that passes ceases to exist. Do you think you'll take time to smell the roses now?
  3. Don't imagine you have one life to live. Imagine you are going to live this exact same life forever (like poor old Bill Murray in Groundhog Day). Would you be happy with the grudges and self-pity you hung on to?
  4. How will you feel when you are on your deathbed looking back? Would you be proud of your achievements? Would you regret anything?
  5. Write your own obituary. Or write two. One that is 'real' and one which is your 'ideal' obituary. How are they dissimilar?
  6. Last one - imagine yourself at a dinner party in the afterlife. You are sat with every possible version of you. From the one who studied hard and aced their qualifications, to the alcoholic who could never hold down a job or relationship. Who would you want to talk to? Who would annoy the crap out of you?

Pow! Biff! Zok! Blam!

I'm not even a quarter of the through the book and I'm ready to start a revolution. If the rest of it pans out the way this first section has I'm sure to have become a more... well I don't know!? A more inspired person I guess.

World. Watch out!

Jon's feeling inspired!!

Buy the book on Amazon here

Anniversary Gift Idea

How I Made My Wife an Anniversary Gift This Year

Now I'm not one to brag (I clearly am. I've created a whole website just about me!) but I only went and made my wife a beaten bronze bowl for her anniversary present this year.

I love the whole anniversary = specific material thingy. Like Diamond Anniversary is 60 years or Silver is 25 years. When faced with the millions of anniversary gift ideas that you can buy off of the internet it's nice to narrow it down to one material at least.

This is about to get really bloody super photo heavy! Are you ready?! Here. WE. GOOOOOO!!!

A couple of years ago (5 year anniversary = wood) I massively outdid myself by carving a picture of the three of us (me, the missus and the sprog) out of a piece of MDF.

A couple of years ago (5 year anniversary = wood) I massively outdid myself by carving a picture of the three of us (me, the missus and the sprog) out of a piece of MDF.

Last year (6 year anniversary = sugar) I didn't quite deliver the goods and only managed to buy some last minute Irish bonbons from a confectioners in Killarney. 

Last year (6 year anniversary = sugar) I didn't quite deliver the goods and only managed to buy some last minute Irish bonbons from a confectioners in Killarney. 

This year (7 years = copper) I was determined to excel myself. With the 'spare' time from giving up my job I didn't really have any excuse not to smash it out of the park.

So here's what I did...

I got my sh*t together!

I got my sh*t together!

I drew around a big lid...

I drew around a big lid...

...and cut that bad boy out!

...and cut that bad boy out!

Safety first - File those sharp bits.

Safety first - File those sharp bits.

Hammer over the edges just for good measure.

Hammer over the edges just for good measure.

Then place the sheet of copper on top of the roll of duct tape and open up a can of whoop-ass with the round side of the pein hammer.

Then place the sheet of copper on top of the roll of duct tape and open up a can of whoop-ass with the round side of the pein hammer.

Ta-daaaaaaa! Romeo dun.

Ta-daaaaaaa! Romeo dun.

Almost... Thinking that a battered bowl might not be the most romantic present ever I also made a pair of copper 'leaf' earrings as well. One of them weirdly glows translucent as well. Weird!

IMG_3293.JPG

Anyway, here are the YouTube videos that I used to help me. Credit where it's due.

Bowl - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7e6Z9QQieAk

Earrings - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdsEk_NdaT8

An Idiot Surviving in the Woods - Final Episode - MORNING

Did I make it 'til morning?

Watch the video HERE!!

I don't think it's too much of a spoiler to let you know that I did make it through the night alive. It would be a bit odd for a corpse to be writing a blog. Actually, I don't know. There's all sorts of weird stuff on the internet!

A reminder of the premise - I had to survive the night in the woods with minimal equipment. I had with me just the following items:

The first part of this vid focuses on how the night went. Utilising multi-angle filming and some awesome acting skills from yours truly, you can really get the feeling of what it is like waking up on a pile of sticks in the woods. 

I wouldn't say it was the best night's sleep ever!

And yes, that ski jacket I was lying on did magically appear from nowhere but to be fair, it's an item of clothing that I could legitimately have worn to the forest. And also I slept on it, not in it.

(Thankfully there was an ambient temperature of 19 degrees Celsius that night!)

The second part of the video follows how I tried to return the woodland to the pristine, beautiful state it was in before I trampled all over it. 

I'm also magic by the way, which I wasn't even aware of.

So, some take-aways from the weekend.

  • You really CAN survive a night in the woods with next to nothing.
  • If I was going to swap anything I'd leave the head torch at home and bring a mess tin instead.
  • Always make sure that someone is making you a cup of tea when you finish a hard day's filming!

Episode 1 - FIRE

Episode 2 - SHELTER

Episode 3 - FOOD

Episode 4 - MORNING

An Idiot Surviving in the Woods - Episode 3 - FOOD

How I filled my hungry tummy while surviving in the woods.

Watch the video HERE!!

Here's the premise - I was surviving a night in the woods with only minimal tools. I had:

  • A head torch
  • A multi-tool
  • A flint and steel
  • Ray Mears' 'Outdoor Survival Handbook'

You'd have to have bloody big hands by the way. I thought a handbook was meant to be the size of your hand, you know, to slip in you back pocket or something. To be handy. In terms of size it's the least handy handbook ever.

Makes an awesome pillow though!

And it does have loads of information on how to go about getting your own food and water.

Not that this was any help to me as I was completely clueless. 

I didn't cheat though. Not once!

Even when my brother, Rob, was cooking his signature 'Beer Can Chicken' by shoving a can of beer up a chicken's arse and steaming it over the fire. Even when he boiled up a handful of succulent crayfish that he'd caught down by the river. Even when I cooked a pork chop for my other brother using the split stick technique recommended by Ray in his book.

Didn't have a single morsel, all night.

Bloody hell was I hungry! 

Hopefully I'd be able to catch my breakfast by fashioning a fish hook from a feather and some nettle rope. Watch the video to find out if I was successful.

Episode 1 - FIRE

Episode 2 - SHELTER

Episode 3 - FOOD

Episode 4 - MORNING

 

I've caught an infectious disease

How I Spent My Monday Morning Smiling

Yesterday I was strolling around Tesco trailing the sprog after me as I completed the weekly shop. I rocked up to the till with a trolley load of shopping (and her balance bike which she had ridden to the supermarket).

I piled the bits and bobs on the conveyor belt while also entertaining the little one with a discussion about her favourite Paw Patrol character. I’ve become pretty adept at this sort of multi-tasking since becoming a Stay At Home Dad (SAHD). I waited patiently for the person in front of me to finish being served and then it was my turn.

It was my turn to become infected.

I think they need to warn people at the tills that they are likely to suffer this contamination. Like a public service announcement or something.

*BING BONG* ‘This is a customer announcement. Please be aware that you are likely to become infected if you visit till 9. Thank you.’

The infection is the most contagious disease known to man. Or woman. It is commonly known as ‘The Sincere Smile’.

The lady behind the till looked at me and gave me the biggest ‘Sincere Smile’ that I’ve seen in ages. ‘Good morning,’ she grinned.

‘Morning,’ I said, a little taken aback by the impact of her smile. And it wasn’t one of those fake corporate smiles either. It was one of those ‘Sincere Smiles’, like she was actually genuinely enjoying her day.

Which is a bit of a shock considering she worked on a till.

I felt the corners of my mouth moving up. Suddenly I was smiling too. A big toothy grin just like she was. I felt a warm happiness inside. Getting the shopping done suddenly felt like the best thing in the world to be doing rather than the weekly slog that it normally is.

So I got everything packed in my backpack and finished paying when I was walking out of the shop. Near the exit there is the security desk with a big beefy black bloke stood behind a monitor. He glanced my way.

And that’s when I started to infect everyone else.

He looked at me.

I smiled.

He smiled.

Another person infected. It was spreading. I spent the rest of the day infecting people. Soon we’d have to call out Will Smith to come up with some sort of antidote. Only we weren’t turning into zombies. In fact, it was the complete opposite. We were turning into people who were enjoying life.

Next time you see someone smiling, why don’t you have a go at catching their infection? And then, why don’t you see if you can pass it on? You never know. We may end up infecting the world with our smiling, which would be no bad thing.

If you could do one thing before the kids had come along, what would it have been?

How I dream of adventure when the sprog is in nursery.

I love the sprog. I really do.

But sometimes I think to myself, where would my life be if she hadn’t come along?

It’s only when you lose the opportunity to do anything that you realise all of the things that you wish you’d done before the little one came along.

I’ve got ideas of competing in ridiculous local festivals like the Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling, The Dorset Nettle-Eating or the Cotswold’s Olympicks with their Shin-Kicking World Championships. (I’ll tell you what, the people in the West Country are bonkers!)

I’ve got aspirations for doing an end-to-ender by walking or cycling from Land’s End to John O’Groats (like Fiona Quinn, Sean Conway, George Mahood or, my own brother, Tim Doolan)

I’ve got dreams of completing the Marathon Des Sables (in the footsteps of many of my idols - Matt Gibson, Sarah Williams, Helen Skelton, Ranulph Fiennes and Alastair Humphreys)

Maybe I would have written all of these novels and books that are floating around in my noggin by now.

Maybe I would have mastered the guitar.

Maybe I would have had a more fulfilled and successful life.

If only she hadn’t come along.

But then again, she is my fulfilment. She is my success story. I am painfully aware of the countless people who can’t have kids. I am absolutely blessed to have her in my life.

And besides, why can’t I do all those things while she is here? Why can’t I get my arse in gear and book some weekends where we can all head down to the West Country and partake in some crazy events? Why can’t I start training for a long distance ultra-endurance event like JOGLE? Give it a few years and the sprog could come with me. Why can’t I put in place the savings and the training that will see me cross the finish line of ‘The Toughest Footrace on Earth’, the Marathon Des Sables in 3 or 4 years’ time?

Strangely enough, having a child has made me MORE appreciative of my time on this earth. It has made me MORE driven to follow my heart and plan and dream of high aspirations for myself. I want to dream big and succeed to show the sprog what she can do with her life. I want her to dream even bigger than I do and achieve more than I can ever imagine. I want to be the role model for her.

It can’t hurt that I want her to be proud of me too!!

As parents, we can literally do whatever we feel like.

Having a kid doesn't limit us to what we can do. It opens doors to experiencing the wonderful world through the eyes of a child. It might take a little more planning and time but we can achieve whatever we feel like.

Dream big. Plan big. Follow your heart.

First Draft FINISHED!!!

I finished my first draft of The 52 Charity Challenge!! Whoop! Whoop!

It’s currently off at the editors (AKA Harry) to see if turds really can be polished.

I've been told time and again that I shouldn't expect the first draft to be any good (cheers Joanna Penn!) so I'm not expecting it to be perfect first time around.

I set myself the deadline of the 1st of August to complete the first draft for The 52 Charity Challenge. It was about time, it’d been dragging on for half a year already.

Parkinson's Law

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Parkinson’s Law. You have / haven’t (delete as appropriate)?! Well this next paragraph will bore / inspire you (delete as appropriate). It's nothing to do with how you interview guests on your TV chat show before you ask.

Basically it’s this. “Work expands to fill the time available for its completion”. So if you give yourself half a year to write a first draft then it will take half a year. If you give yourself 1 month to finish it, as if by magic, it only takes 1 month. (Thanks Chandler Bolt for introducing me to it)

And so it is finished. At bloody last. Time to stop, have a cup of tea and then crack on with the next stage of launching a book. The cover!

Watch this space for a cover design competition coming up in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime enjoy this video of my celebration dance!

 

 

An Idiot Surviving in the Woods - Episode 2

Where I Survived in the Woods with Nothing but my Cunning!

Ok, that's a lie. I had a few tools:

Watch the Video HERE!!

In this episode I constructed an incredible shelter... which I showed my cousin the next day and he said 'That's rubbish! It's just for show, right?' Not the most ringing of endorsements.

Home. Sweet home.

Home. Sweet home.

Luckily it was a clear night and my meagre shelter wasn't called on to withstand any breeze whatsoever. I don't think it would have handled being sneezed on let alone even the most gentle of gusts.

Or guffs for that matter!

But by the end of the evening I had a bed, a shelter and a lovely warm fire to keep me alive.

Admittedly half of the branches that I used for the roof were cut down by my chainsaw wielding brother. So he was useful even if he did insist on revving his chainsaw throughout most of my shots. Apologies for the audio!

On the audio front, I was trying something for the first time with this video series. I had a 'lav mic' (not something for illicitly listening to people on the bog) attached to my shirt collar which was connected to my phone in my pocket. In the edit I had to match up the right audio recording with the right video. It was a right pain in the arse but it was worth it especially for some of the 'talking heads' shots.

I wonder if you even noticed!?

Episode 1 - FIRE

Episode 2 - SHELTER

Episode 3 - FOOD

Episode 4 - MORNING

 

Watch This!!

How I contributed to Alastair Humphrey’s new movie

Ok, so I can’t take much credit for the filming, editing, music, voiceover or pretty much anything from the opening sequence to the closing credits. In reality I’m not even sure that ANY of the footage I shot actually made it into the final cut…

… but I was there and that’s got to count for something, right?!

It was an absolute pleasure spending a day in the blistering sunshine on an estuary on the south coast of the UK filming Al Humphreys splash about in the water like a playful otter pup. You can read about my day in this blog HERE.

But exciting news, microadventure fans! Al’s video is now live and you can watch it HERE and HERE. Pay close attention to the frame at exactly 2 mins 57. In my humble opinion it’s the best part of the whole picture.

MY NAME IN THE CREDITS!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

That makes me OFFICIALLY a professional videographer. Yeah!

Seriously though the whole thing is pretty special and is due largely to the efforts of Kev Merrey and the team at Skyrise Productions, and also to Alastair himself who came up with the idea. If you are thinking about having someone film one of your epic expeditions then definitely consider Kev and his team who were nothing but professional and creative geniuses.

(This is my own humble opinion and Kev didn’t pay me anything. He didn’t even buy me lunch, the stingy git. Al did!)

My take-away from the whole thing is this. What you really need is a brilliant idea.

(And a drone, a quality DSLR, some decent editing software, access to copyright free music and a fair whack of time)

However, it all begins with a brilliant idea. All the other stuff is just fancy extras that makes your idea look a bit better. But if you have a genuinely brilliant idea, you should get out there and film it (or get Skyrise Productions to film it for you!).

Maybe I’ll do a blogpost soon of the silly little tricks that I’ve picked up on how to film and edit an awesome video on the cheap. Watch this space...

An Idiot Surviving in the Woods - Episode 1

How I took a few minor provisions to the woods and survived!

Ok. So I've already blogged about this. But I've finally got my arse in gear to create the video that goes along with the blog. 

Watch the video HERE!

The first episode is out on YouTube, released like a trapped tiger being set free to the wild. It's all about my first stage in surviving the night which involved making a fire.

Spoiler alert - I made the fire!

Spoiler alert - I made the fire!

I feel I need to fess up about a few things..

Firstly, YES, I did start the fire on my own using just a flint and steel. There was no matches or lighters involved (despite the edit looking like I cheated). What actually happened was that I turned the camera off and then managed to get it alight. Honest guv!

But here is where the honesty comes in. It wasn't the bracken that caught. Or the seeds, the dry leaves or the feathers. It was in fact some birch bark that my brother Ed had found on a dead tree further into the woods.

Also, the cheapo Go Outdoors impulse buy flint and steel that I had with me was bloody useless. In the end I used a superior flint and steel which Ed lent to me. 

But, hand on heart, I definitely lit it with just the sparks from a flint. 

Anyway, enjoy the vid and look out for the next episode coming soon.

Episode 2 - SHELTER

Episode 3 - FOOD

Episode 4 - THE MORNING

 

Saying 'Yes' to Life

How saying ‘Yes’ to life could change your life!

I am a massive fan of saying ‘Yes’!

It’s not some big new trend. People have been saying ‘Yes’ for generations. Probably since the creation of the spoken word. Or at least since the beginning evolution of the English language. Before that it was probably ‘Oui’ or ‘Ja’ or ‘Si’ or something.

I wonder who the first person to say ‘Yes’ was. Do you think they realised the repercussions of their word?

Anyway, that’s beside the point.

There are two gentlemen who have embraced the ‘Yes’ mantra. Two giants among us normal folk who have inspired me to open up my opportunities to fulfil my dreams.

The first is Danny Wallace. A spectacle wearing genius (the specs made him look even smarter than he is!) who realised that his life was pretty rubbish because he was saying ‘No’ to every opportunity that came his way.

I wrote a book called Sardines about how his story persuaded me to try and do some of the things that I’d been putting off.

The second wonderful individual is the ginger haired Dave Cornthwaite (don’t hold his gingerness against him. He is genuinely a nice bloke). This leader of tribes started his own cult around the phrase ‘Say Yes More’. No, sorry. It’s not a cult. Honest!

Danny Wallace Book.JPG

Both these dudes were at a miserable mundane point in their lives when they decided to turn it all around by saying ‘Yes’ and now they are both living the life they want.

I personally had a similar situation. I had the unerring feeling that life was passing me by without me actually achieving anything. So I said ‘Yes’ to a few more things and now I am writing and adventuring, two things that I always wanted to do.

Now there are a few things to consider when saying ‘Yes’:

  1. It is ‘Say Yes More’, not ‘Say Yes to Everything’. You have the opportunity to say ‘No’ if you want to. And sometimes it is harder to say ‘No’ than to say ‘Yes’.
  2. Do not take for granted your ability to choose. Living in the Western world we have the opportunity. Many people can’t choose their destiny. People in war-torn countries or places of famine and disease. They can’t choose.
  3. YOU can choose. If you chose to walk out of your front door tomorrow, you could. If you chose to give up your day job, you could. If you chose to leave that relationship, you could. It may be tough at first. You may have people telling you that you can’t. Finances may be tight. You will have low points where you second guess your choice but believe in what YOU want and make the choice.
  4. There will be times when the commitments affect your ability to choose. As a parent I know too well that I can’t just drop everything and go and row across the Atlantic, for example. However, I can build up to it. I can set it as my end goal and make baby steps in that direction. Another example is that if I can’t make any money from selling my books then I’ll have to go back to the day job. Permanently! Use you goals to drive you, to motivate you, to achieve more than you thought possible.
  5. And lastly, enjoy saying ‘YES’. Embrace the opportunities that will arise, especially if you didn’t see them coming!

Have fun.

What I Cut Out of My First Draft

How I finished my first draft and started the editing process

This week I have been like a writing ninja trying to complete my first draft for ‘The 52 Charity Challenge’ before the self-imposed deadline of 1st August. And, (cue the confetti cannons and balloons) I finished the first draft!! Woohoo!

It only took me 6 months which is, quite frankly, a ridiculous amount of time.

My main tips for completing a first draft of any book are dead simple.

1.       Just sit down and bloody write it!!

That’s it. There are no short cuts to a finished first draft.

Actually there are short cuts. I’ve been listening intently to Joanna Penn’s Creative Penn Podcast and Chandler Bolt’s Self-Publishing School podcast and they’ve got loads of tips on how to write a first draft quickly.

Short Cuts to Completing your First Draft

  • Create a mind map and outline your book before you start writing.
    • They recommend using products like Scrivener to structure your work but I’ve found that inserting a Contents Page and using the Navigation tool bar on Word works just as well.
  • Booking time to sit down and write.
    • Scheduling an immovable appointment with yourself to sit down and write. Not so easy when you have a 3 year old who craves your attention every moment of every day. I’ve made really good use of the 2 days that she was in nursery for the past couple of months.
  • Use voice recognition software to transcribe audio of you narrating your first draft.
    • This is super high tech. There is software out there, like Dragonspeak or something or other, which will learn your speech patterns and can write your first draft for you. All you have to do is talk into a microphone. It means you can write your first draft about twenty times faster.
  • Lastly and most importantly, accept the fact that your first draft will be a pile of poo and will need to be completely reedited.

Which brings us neatly to the next stage of the process. Editing.

Now, I don’t have loads of experience with editing. Both of my last 2 books (Jon and Harry’s Year of Microadventure and Sardines) are largely unedited. The only issue I had was that I changed everyone’s names to pseudonyms throughout the book. But everyone got upset that they couldn't show their friends that they were in a book, so I had to change them all back again to their real names.

Popular wisdom is that I should have my books edited by a professional and I will probably come to regret not getting these two books properly edited. Oh well.

The main issue that I have with the current book, The 52 Charity Challenge, is that the first draft was 120,000 words long. That’s mental! To give you some perspective that is 4 times longer than my university dissertation (which took me 2 years to write) and is more than twice as many words as that school room classic, Of Mice and Men.

My aim is to get it somewhere closer to 80,000 words so I’m hacking away at the first draft like a jungle explorer with a machete.

Below is one excerpt that made it onto the cutting room floor. Please don’t judge me on it. Remember that I removed it from the book so it’s clearly not my best work!

A Night of Adventure

This was the second year that I had attended Alastair Humphrey's ‘Night of Adventure’.

If you haven’t heard of Al, and you really should have, then here is a quick introduction.

He was National Geographic’s Adventurer of the Year.

He has completed some epic adventures from cycling round the world, to rowing the Atlantic, to crossing Iceland by foot and packraft, to trekking in the Empty Quarter Desert, to walking across India, to circumnavigating the M25.

Yes, that’s right. You read that correctly.

Al is a proper adventurer but what he is more commonly known for is coining the phrase ‘Microadventure’ which is basically a small adventure in the wild outdoors of the UK. Even the M25 can be seen as wild if you are walking around it in a snowstorm and wild camping.

Long story short, Al is my biggest inspiration right now. He’s the reason I wrote my first book (and indirectly the reason I am writing this one too) and he has unknowingly pushed me on many a mad adventure.

So Al runs this event each year called ‘Night of Adventure’. It’s a mad cap scheme where he invites some other adventurers to share their stories. Some are a big deal, like Everest climbers or arctic explorers. Some are just people who have done a cool trip like walking around Wales with a donkey or hitchhiking Land’s End to John O’Groats in their pants. The twist is that the speakers only get 20 slides and each slide moves on automatically after 20 seconds. It’s a break neck introduction to the exciting lives that some people lead.

The event is a charity event to raise money for Hope and Homes for Children, an organisation that is trying to get kids out of orphanages and into loving homes.

I decided to bring my best mate, Harry, along to the event and we arrived early and got some decent seats down near the front right in the centre.

The main man, Alastair, was up at the front chatting away to some of the guest speakers. He seemed buoyant and bubbly and itching to start. As we sat chatting we realised that the seats either side of us weren’t filled but all the other seats in the row were.

‘Do you think we smell?’ I said sniffing my pits.

‘You do, mate,’ said Harry grabbing his nose and swatting away my whiff with his other hand.

‘Do you think we should move up one seat so that two people can sit down together?’ I asked.

‘That seems sensible.’ We picked up our stuff and moved a seat over.

We carried on chatting for a while and a couple of ladies sat down in the seats we had vacated. I said hello and then turned back to Harry to continue our conversation about the flyer we had been handed.

‘So, do you think we should do it?’ asked Harry.

‘I don’t know, mate. It’s a lot of money to raise. It’s also going to be a pain in the arse to organise logistically.’

‘I really think we should do it.’

I was about to respond but I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and the blonde lady in the smart jacket and skirt was smiling at me. Behind her, at the end of the row in the aisle, stood Al waving frantically and looking in my direction.

I turned round to make sure that he wasn’t waving at someone else. Why on earth would my idol, Al Humphreys, be waving at me erratically in the middle of an auditorium on one of his biggest events of the year.

I must have looked flabbergasted. The lady proffered her hand. ‘Hi,’ she said.

‘Hi,’ I responded.

‘I believe I’ve read your book.’

‘Huh?’

‘I’m Sarah. I’m Al’s wife.’

It took a few seconds but then everything clicked together.

I’d written my first book (have I mentioned it already?) about my Year of Microadventure with Harry. I’d got it printed and had given Alastair a copy at a talk that he had done in my home town. He’d read the book on the train on the way home. He’d emailed me a few days later saying how much he had liked it and how much his wife had liked it too. I’d been elated that my adventuring muse had read and loved my book.

One month later, here I was being waved at by Al and sitting right next to his lovely wife, Sarah.

We fell into conversation instantly. She was really nice, asking me about my adventures and about my next project. ‘You’re doing one a week?’ she asked. ‘Next year I suppose you’ll be doing one every day.’

‘Don’t give me ideas!’ I joked.

‘Jon, you do realise that there are four people who have read your book. Three of them are in the room and you’re sat between two of them. What are the chances of that happening?’

‘And if Mum was here we’d have the full set,’ I smiled. This was turning from a good evening into a great evening.

Sorry, Al. You and your lovely wife didn’t make the final cut. There just wasn’t the space. But it was absolutely wonderful chatting with Sarah. Say hi to her for me!

So that’s it. Hopefully you’ve enjoyed a little insight into my writing process and if this is a topic that you’ve enjoyed or you want to read more about then please message me on Twitter.

Twitter - @jondoolan1

Have a lovely day!

Why you shouldn’t compare your kids to others'

How I found myself comparing my adventurous daughter to someone else's child

I’ve mentioned an illness that I suffer from before called ‘compare-itis’. It’s a terrible affliction where I view myself and my own adventures in comparison to those much more extravagant, outrageous and crazy adventurers out there.

The problem is I've started I’m comparing my daughter to other people’s kids.

I’ll be honest, I care less about the fact that her handwriting is way behind some other kids her age. I know her reading ability is well beyond her years. I’m not too worried that her swimming ability is behind some of the other kids in the class. She had a 2 year swimming hiatus where I ummed and ahhed and took my time pulling my finger out of my arse and deciding to quit my day job.

But at the weekend I met a girl who was more adventurous than the sprog!

And she’s only 2!

This is not a picture of the 2 year old! I didn't string her up to a spit roast and cook her!!

This is not a picture of the 2 year old! I didn't string her up to a spit roast and cook her!!

I was at my Mum’s annual summer barbecue down in Wales (though you could have mistaken it for a midwinter barbecue by the non-stop drizzle we were subjected to). We had a massive hog roast using a pig that Mum had reared on her little homestead.

We were enjoying the roasted pork and crackling when my younger brother decided to set up a ‘slip ‘n slide’ in the field. It’s basically some heavy duty polythene material with Fairy washing up liquid poured all over it. I’m not entirely sure Dr. Health or Mr. Safety were invited to the barbecue!

After a few minutes all the young kids (and the adults who thought they were still kids) were throwing themselves down the plastic slippery slide with like a brood of bubbly penguins. Even the sprog had a go though she broke down in tears after a few minutes. Her bottom lip was quivering and turning a weird shade of blue. Goose pimples had appeared on her arms and she was shivering uncontrollably.

So, being the knight in shiny armour that I am, I scooped her up in my arms and took her to the wood fired hot tub that the same nutcase brother had constructed out of a blow up swimming pool, a metal bin and some copper piping. It being midsummer in Wales it was understandably chilly, despite the best efforts of the flames flying out of the bin.

Again the sprog was in tears and again she was freezing so I whisked her inside the cottage for a nice warm bath.

Great, you might say. She had a go at everything and despite practically turning into an ice cube she still wanted to stay in the pool and play.

Yeah, ok. But I haven’t told you about this 2 year old yet.

So while everyone else disembarked for the ‘hot’ tub, this adventure wonder child was still being dragged down the slip and slide by her enthusiastic dad. When everyone was washed and warm from the toasty bath indoors and had sat down out of the rain in front of a Disney DVD, this daredevil of a kid was still out splashing around the ‘hot’ tub.

I don’t know if this amazing child was part killer whale but she nailed it on the adventure front. While the sprog was learning valuable life lessons from Moana, like how to steal from a giant decapod (look it up), this little tyke was gallivanting around outside in the fresh air doing what kids do and being a little bit wild and tough.

But it’s useless. As with everything, if you go looking, of course there will be people (and people’s kids) who are more adventurous, more outrageous and more daring than you are (or your sprog is).

All you can do it focus on being the best version of you. For when you are being the best version of yourself, you inspire other people to be the best of themselves too.

At least she enjoyed the camping!

Bringing Up a Girl in this Misogynist World

How I try and steer my daughter to appreciate that she is equally as capable as any boy

There is a video that circulated around on Facebook last year. It’s a young girl slamming Tesco for selling gender biased clothing. On one rack there are ‘girls’’ tops with slogans like ‘Hey’ and ‘I feel FAB-U-LOUS’ and on the other rack are ‘boys’’ clothes saying ‘Desert Adventurer’ and ‘Hero’ and the very articulate 8-year girl rightly points out, why can’t girls be Heroes or Adventurers?

I found this really evident when I went to buy the sprog an adventure t-shirt last year. The only one that seemed even a little bit adventurey (that is definitely not a word) was an orange top with ‘My Little Explorer Kit’ on it.

This t-shirt was in the ‘boys’’ section. Why were there no adventurey (if I use the word enough it will become a real word) tops in the ‘girls’’ section?

Screw it! I thought and bought the t-shirt anyway. I just haven’t told the sprog that it was meant for boys. We christened it her ‘adventure t-shirt’ and now she wears it on all of her adventures (which is why it is a bit faded).

Like a Girl

There was another video on YouTube created by the sanitary towel company Always. I don’t know why it takes a bunch of tampon sellers to tell us the one of the most important and striking messages for the next generation of women. The video is especially impactful.

The message is that to do something ‘Like A Girl’ should not be an insult. Girls should be proud of themselves and their achievement and they should be proud to ‘run like a girl’, ‘throw like a girl’ and ‘succeed like a girl’.

It’s one of the reasons why I have stopped using ‘like a girl’ as a comment or insult. I also try not to use other words related to females to put someone down.

Especially their genitalia! I have no idea why being a ‘fanny’ or a ‘pussy’ means you are weak. Or ‘growing some balls’ or ‘taking man up pills’ makes you stronger. It seems illogical to me that if my daughter ‘grew a pair’ that she would be able to get through a tougher situation than the person stood next to her.

And why do the ‘dog’s bollocks’ trump everyone else’s undercarriages?

Role Models

I've been actively trying to steer her in the direction of role models I think are appropriate. As far as I am concerned, Barbie can do one! As can most of the Disney princesses (barring of course Frozen’s Anna and Brave’s Merida – both of whom neglect to bag a Prince Charming as they are focused on saving their respective family members from being hacked to death by other animated characters).

Much more preferable are the My Little Pony crew. Not the stick figure Girls who trounce around their high school with biologically impossibly thin waists. The proper ponies who every episode explore the meaning of friendship in fun and exciting ways. (You can tell I’m a fan!)

She hasn’t got to that stage yet but the people I would love to be her role models are not the people that she will see on the catwalks or music videos. I would love for her to have any of the guests on Sarah Williams Tough Girl Podcast as her role models. I listen to it every week and every week I am inspired by the achievements of these incredible women. Go on, have a listen yourself. I know you’ll be hooked!

Pink

The last thing I want to encourage is her choice of ‘favourite’ colour. Why do girls have to favour pink and purple and boys prefer blue? Why, when we moved to the new house, did she automatically choose the pink room over the green or blue rooms as her new bedroom (despite it being smaller than the other two)? When did we ingrain into my daughter’s mind that pastel pathetic pink equates to feminine while cold standoffish blue means masculine?

Grrr! It grates on me!

I want the best for the sprog. I want her to know that she can be whoever she wants to be but the best person that she can be is herself, a strong independent and successful woman… eventually.

And in any colour she likes. Just not pink.

A Night of Survival with Ray Mears*

How I Survived a Night Outdoors With 3 Tools and a Book

*Ok, Ray Mears wasn’t really there and he definitely is not a tool. He was the author of the book I had with me. His Outdoor Survival Handbook would hopefully have all the tricks and knowhow to enable me to survive a night in the woods without many of the things I would normally take camping.

No tent. No bivvy. No roll mat. No sleeping bag. No idea!

I’m convinced that you only need a few things to have a wonderful adventure. There are people who bemoan the fact that all the equipment costs so much but I want to prove that you only need a few things to have an awesome adventure.

Here is a list of things that I brought with me:

  • Clothes - Boxers, thick socks, zip off trousers (only the cool kids wear these), t-shirt (white was a mistake!), 2 fleeces, ski jacket, snood.
  • Tools - Flint and steel (never used one before. Eek!), multi-tool (inc. saw blade and pen knife) and headtorch (didn’t use it).
  • Filming equipment – DSLR camera, tripod, iPhone, lav mic (+ waterproof bag for filming equipment)
  • Book – Ray Mears – Outdoor Survival Handbook
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Ray’s book was immensely helpful but it does have some peculiar chapters. It gives a whole chapter to the art of telling a story and a diagram of how to use every part of a moose. Not really essential for survival in a woodland in Dorset.

I think another area that the book could be improved was a list of the order in which to complete tasks. I really didn’t know where to start so started with the most fun thing first, making a fire.

I followed Ray’s instructions to the T but the tinder he suggested (dried bracken) was bloody useless. To be fair it was probably my £2 impulse buy flint and steel at the counter in Go Outdoors which was crap. It was only when I used a strip of birch bark and my brother, Ed’s, superior magnesium flint did the first sparks really start to fly.

Did I not mention that I was camping with my brothers? Oops.

Yeah, I was camping with them and no they weren’t doing the whole survival thing. And no I didn’t cheat and eat their copious amounts of food, even though they’d completely brought way more food than a normal human being needs to eat in a week. And no I didn’t use any of their utensils.

Apart from the flint and steel, of course.

You know that feeling that you get when you light the first BBQ of the year and it catches and you feel like you are the god of fire, that you are reconnecting to your caveman ancestors and you are a superior human being able to survive a zombie apocalypse. Well, take that feeling and times by about 100 and that is what it feels like to light a fire with a flint and steel after 20 minutes of trying. Boo yeah!

Once the fire was blazing I turned my attention to my sleeping arrangements. There was no way that I was sleeping on the floor so I made a bed of sticks and lay a whole load of leaves on it, just like big Ray told me to. It was actually surprisingly comfy.

Next I constructed a shelter of sticks and covered that with more fronds of leaves. I got a bit bored of building this and in the end it looked a bit like a child had thrown a wobbly in a hedge.

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Next my thoughts turned to food and water. Being ultra-careful I created some nettle string out of the long stems of nettles. This, combined with a feather hook and a rock would be my fishing line for the evening. I went down to the river and plopped it in the shallows.

Water was a serious issue too. According to Mr. Mears, I needed to make a birch bark bowl, which is a mouthful to say. It would have only been a mouthful anyway as the only clean birch bark I could find was about the size of a small envelope.

No luck with the fishing line either.

Bugger!

So I went to bed hungry while my other brother, Rob, made his campfire speciality of beer can chicken by shoving a can of lager up a chicken’s arse and steaming it over the fire. It smelt delicious! They’d even caught some crayfish in a trap in the stream and had boiled them and sucked the sweet flesh out of the claws. Instead, I lay down on my ski jacket which I had placed on my bed of sticks and pulled the snood over my eyes and went to sleep.

I actually slept really well and didn’t wake until about 3 in the morning when I rolled over, stoked the fire up and fell back asleep again. The fire kept me warm (it was a balmy 19 degrees anyway) and the smoke from the fire kept all the buggies away.

Ed, who was wild camping close by, said that he had to get up in the night to shoo a badger away but I must have slept straight through it.

The next morning I had accidentally somehow set my stupid new international Casio watch to Paris time. I was wide awake at what I thought was 6.30 but must have been 5.30. I soon had the fire merrily burning away and made bacon sandwiches for my 2 brothers.

And one for myself.

Yeah, ok. But I was bloody starving and I’d had no food for breakfast. Those flipping fish hadn’t bitten at all and I had no water to boil up the nettle soup I was looking forward to. Also, the blackberries that I had planned to scavenge were all tiny and green (despite all the ones round me at home already being ripe and fat). I think I pretty much failed on the food front.

But I had survived. I’d survived one night with limited tools and just my cunning (ok, Ray Mears knowledge) to get me through. Cheers Ray Mears.

If I was going to do it again I would definitely ditch the torch. I barely used it. But I would be certain to have a mess tin or something that I could use to collect water and cook with. It was the only thing that held me back from being a true survivor.

And then my cousin, Tom, who turned up on the Sunday, showed me how to eat nettles raw and I realised it wasn’t a mess tin I needed but more knowledge. Still, you live and learn.

I wonder if you could dispense with one or two of the things that you think are essential for your next camping trip. Go on, leave something at home and see how much of an impact it has on your adventure! Have fun!

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BOOK REVIEW: Miss Adventures: A tale of ignoring life advice while backpacking around South America by Amy Baker

Each month I'll be reviewing one book that you just HAVE to read. This month sees Amy Baker's Miss-Adventures: a tale of ignoring life advice while backpacking around South America come under the spot light.

Other than having an unnecessarily long title (says the man who has a book with the tongue twisting title Jon and Harry’s Year of Microadventure) this book doesn’t have a lot wrong with it at all. In fact, I’d say it was one of the best reads I’ve had in ages.

I’m not a literary critic by any accounts. My judge of a good book is how quickly I finish it. More often than not, I’ll have my nose pressed into a book that I am really enjoying for far shorter a time than a book that is seriously dragging. Because of this I tend to finish brilliant books in a couple of days whereas awful tripe could go on for several weeks.

Amy Baker’s book (which we will abbreviate to the catchy MAATOILAWBASA) fitted well and truly into the couple of days’ camp. How can you put a book down that continues you make you smile for the entire time you are reading it? How can you drag yourself away before you find out the next stupidly insane thing that the main character (Amy herself) gets up to?

Amy’s writing genre could be called ‘Comedy Travel’ and it’s definitely an area I would love to see expanded with more books. I’d say she’s like a funnier version of Michael Palin, or a slightly less cynical Kyle Pilkington. She’s quite happy putting her innermost thoughts on the page. There’s a real honesty and relatability there that I immediately connected with. She’s not some high thinking philosopher but a normal (well, fairly normal) girl with normal thoughts, like worrying about what other people think of her and behaving completely inappropriately around good-looking Bolivians.

I’ll admit that the first few chapters are pretty tame compared to the drug induced hysteria, the impromptu brush with the drug cartel and the incident outside the hostel in Peru (You’ll have to read it to find out what happened. It’s worth the suspense) that appear in later chapters. Amy tells it all in her comic style and I dare you to read it and not laugh out loud at least once.

Buy MAATOILAWBASA. Buy it for your friends. Don’t buy it for your Granny!

Planning an adventure with children

How to get your children engaged with the planning of an epic adventure

I wanted to share an activity that me and the sprog did the other day. We were planning to go camping with the Ordinary Superparents off of Facebook (blogpost here). I really wanted to get her involved in the organisation of the adventure. She’s only 3 and has just started to write her name and learn letters so I couldn’t get her to write a list of things to bring. Instead I got her to draw a picture of the things she wanted to eat on the camping trip before we went to the shops. I wrote the words of the food items next to it. Judging by the number of sausages she drew she definitely wanted some sort of fry up!

Another part of the planning I asked her to help with was the choice of clothes. We pulled out anything she suggested and piled it on the bed.

Then I showed her the tiny backpack that she was going to use and told her that only the clothes she could fit in the bag would be brought.  Like Gok Wan in a lady's wardrobe, the sprog started to fling clothes out. The first thing she decided to ditch were the pyjamas, quickly followed by the second change of everything else. We discussed what she would need if she got cold and she decided to keep the thermal shirt and added an extra fleecy jumper.

In the end the only change of clothes she actually used was a change of socks. Just goes to show how little stuff you need to take your kids on an overnight adventure. All the rest is ‘just in case’!

Other ideas to help the kids plan the adventure:

  • Ask them what type of adventure they want to go on. River? Sea? Mountain? Forest? Plan your trip accordingly.
  • Ask them how they want to travel. Walking adventure? Bike adventure? Boat adventure?
  • Get an Ordnance Survey map of your adventure area. Is there a footpath nearby? Show your child some routes you could walk together.
  • What facilities are there that you could use? I.e. is there a bike hire near your campsite? Is there a recommended bike trail?
  • Get them to pack the sleeping bags, tent etc. in the backpack so they know exactly what you are bringing and where everything is packed.

On the adventure...

  • Make them help put the tent up, collect wood, construct the fire, wash up the mess tins, etc.
  • Get them to help with food preparation. Even basic things like washing carrots.
  • Kids love cooking their own food, especially marshmallows and s’mores over the fire. Try and be adventurous and look for other recipes. Bananas in tin foil. Baking bread. Go on. Google it!
  • Get them to help with navigation. Even at an early age you can be teaching them basic map skills like how to orientate the map and how to work out where you are.
  • At the end of the day sit and discuss what the best bit of the adventure has been so far. What was tough? What have you learned? This is a great opportunity to show kids that it’s ok to open up and develop higher order thinking skills.

Whatever you do, remember, you are the judge of what you think is safe for your kids. Sending the sprog on an orienteering course in a forest on her own at 3 years old is probably not what I would deem as safe. Equally, getting her to roast her marshmallows unattended would probably get me in the dog house with the missus. You are in charge of your child’s safety but you are also in charge of their development (especially when they are young) so find your own middle ground there.

And enjoy it!

Good luck, have fun and until we meet on the next adventure, keep smiling!

Ordinary SuperParents FIRST EVER Camp out

How a group of random families met on the internet and decided to take their kids camping.

The Ordinary Superparents is a Facebook group created by the ever excitable Mel Findlater, a Canadian who is as full of bubbly joviality as she is with love for her family. She created the Ordinary Superparents group as a place for adventurous parents (and would be parents) to get together online to discuss the comedy and concerns with taking kids on adventures.

It was only a matter of time before the group all met up for a camp out and I was lucky enough to be invited to the first one.

Mel’s mate, Sarah, had volunteered her back garden in a small town outside Cambridge. It was no more than 20m wide but extended 200m in length. Walking to the end of the garden was like walking further and further into the wilderness. From a well-kept suburban lawn complete with obligatory trampoline. Beyond the high treeline of the willow and the silver birch. Passed a wild raspberry patch with succulent red berries hanging from the branches. Into the crunch of the bracken and woodland. Through the dark den and over the fallen logs. And still you couldn’t reach the back fence as the nettles and badgers had reclaimed the land for Mother Nature.

It was like stepping into Narnia.

The sprog loved it, running back and forth like a ginger-haired raccoon.

We selected a spot among the blueberry bushes and erected our 3 man tent, which considering this was the first time it would be just me and sprog, seemed absolutely huge for just the pair of us.

The parents gathered round the barbecue and the bonfire that had been erected by Sarah. ‘I wouldn’t be much a Canadian if I couldn’t light a fire,’ she said in a half joking, half very proud tone.

It was such an eclectic mix of parents. We had a single dad who had camped all over the world with the badges on his rucksack to prove it. We had a divorcee who wanted to show her girls how to live exciting, independent lives. We had a solo mum, a lady who had had a baby with no man on the scene, who was camping with her lad for the first time. We had nuclear families with 2.4 children.

It was brilliant that all these people could sit together with one massive thing in common. We all had been through the sleep depriving, tantrum enduring, tear dabbing, bum wiping job that was bringing up a child.

The kids ranged from 10 months old to 10 years old but they all got on like a house on fire, which was magical. The older girls took the younger ones under their wings like mothering hens, holding their hands as they walked through the forest, teaching them how to hold grass when feeding the local horses and picking them up and bringing them back to Mum or Dad when they stumbled over a log.

The sprog was in her element. ‘I’m going on an adventure with the big girls,’ she grinned as she toddled off in her oversized flashing wellies.

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I even got a chance to throw my drone up and give a few of the older girls a quick tutorial, until we glanced up at the sky and saw the massive black cloud that was heading our way.

Quick as a flash everything was thrown into tents and we all did a mad dash back through the torrential rain to the house where the sprog and the other kids happily played with the toys that were scattered around the lounge.

‘Is it cheating that we’re inside?’ asked Tracey as she shuffled her little boy onto a different hip.

‘We can do what we like,’ smiled Mel. ‘We’re parents!’

‘And besides,’ Sarah interjected, ‘this is much more social than all sitting inside our own tents.’

And that’s pretty much the ethos of Ordinary Superparents. There was no chest beating ultra-endurance gorillas comparing the how severe their expeditions were. There was no judging eco-travellers with their pedestal high moral compass saving the rainforests one spider monkey at a time. There was no one dragging themselves through a desert or across an icecap starving themselves to death to raise money to solve world hunger.

It was just a few parents with their kids having a camp in someone’s back garden.

The shower passed and we were soon outside again enjoying sizzling sausages on the barbecue, and chicken wings grilled over the bonfire. The older kids disappeared off to play hide and seek into the woodland while the young babies enjoyed a boob or two to suckle on.

It was a wonderful evening of quiet chatter as we all shared our favourite adventure with our kids and the grievances that those other childless, normal people didn’t understand when transporting a screaming sprog to a far flung campsite. The kids cooked marshmallows over the fire before cramming themselves with their torches into one of the tents with Scarlet, the gorgeous Hungarian vizsla (That’s a dog by the way, not an Eastern European hooker) to chat and do what kids do best. There was no iPads or TV screens of smart phones. It was just kids being kids.

Eventually everyone made it back to their own tents and crashed for the night. It was the sprog’s first go in a sleeping bag and other than finding her at 2am having crawled out of the sleeping bag and curled into a tight little ball on her pillow, she seemed to enjoy it.

The morning was greeted by far too enthusiastic children at far too early an hour and the sizzling smell of bacon sarnies cooking.

Unfortunately, I had to scarper back home to the missus but the rest of the families stayed for another night. It was Canada day and it was celebrated in style with a Canadian stew cooked in a Dutch oven (something I still want to try) and a Canada themed treasure hunt. I even heard rumour of the Brits joining their cousins from across the lake in singing the National Anthem, Oh Canada.

It was also the Wild Night Out, the unofficial British National Day of Adventure which is run by Belinda Kirk at Explorers Connect. The Ordinary Superparents were ticking all the boxes last weekend.

And if you want to find out more about this band of inspirational and engaging parents then head over to their Facebook group and get the low down from Mel and the team.

Hopefully you’ll be able to join us on a camp out soon.

How It Feels to Deliver an Adventure Talk

Ever wondered what it is like to deliver an adventure talk? Well, read on and find out how my FIRST EVER adventure talk panned out…

How early is too early for an event? Is two hours early a bit over keen? I guess it must have been as I was the first person there. Other than the small but busy crowd of suits enjoying an early evening beer or two.

Very naughty! And on a school night as well!

I ordered myself a lime and soda and sat in the corner with the Evening Standard flicking through the information I’d been given for the evening.

I was due to speak at the June 2017 Yes Stories event in a small upstairs room in a pub in Piccadilly. Designed as an opportunity for individuals within the Yes Tribe to share their inspirational and incredible stories.

I’d be delivering one of 8 talks by an eclectic mix of individuals who had been on some epic and terrifying journeys. There was a guy who’d ran across the Sahara desert. A lady who had sailed the Antarctic. A lad who had walked the length of the USA.

And there was me, who had cycled for 3 and a half days in Thailand.

There is a seriously contagious infection among adventurers. It’s called ‘compare-itis’. I had a severe case of this right now. How could I compare my piddly little bike ride to these amazing expeditions? Why on earth would people want to listen to me when they had much more impressive people to listen to?

The first person I met, one of Yes Tribe leader Dave Cornthwaite’s very good friends, knocked me down to size straight away. The wonderfully grounded Jessie’s words of wisdom were that it was all just ‘Ego wank’.

That’s brilliant! I thought and completely forgot about my worries.

However, there is another disease that I am afflicted with, and no it wasn’t the incurable Crohn’s disease that one of the other speakers had. My ailment is called ‘imposter syndrome’. I was stood up there claiming to be an ‘Adventurer’ when I clearly didn’t feel it.

I recently read a very inspiring blogpost by the Ordinary Adventurer, Bex Band, where she talks about how she survived her first 6 months as an ‘Adventurer’. Her advice was to ‘Fake it until you make it’.

So fake it I did.

I was sat in the front row completely oblivious to the 2 sets of speakers who stood up before me. I was just running my talk endlessly through my mind. My heart hammered so hard in my chest that it felt like one of those cartoons where you can see the impression of their heart sticking out of some lustful chipmunk’s chest.

Weirdly my mind was really calm but I felt like I was going to be sick. It was like my brain was saying ‘Don’t worry, Jon. You got this,’ while my body was trying to throw itself out of the nearby window and run off down the street screaming.

Eventually, compere Andy Barlett, got up and introduced me.

I stood up and took off my trousers…

And if you want to see the rest of the talk, then you’ll have to watch the video here.

I don’t really remember what happened. My mind was a complete blank, like giving the talk was the equivalent to social Rohypnol. I didn’t realise until afterwards that I’d delivered the whole talk with only one sock on. I’d could hear laughter and applause as I sat down so it couldn’t have gone too badly.

‘They give training on how to deliver a talk,’ my brother-in-law Mike said at the interval. ‘You basically tore up the rule book.’ Is that a good thing? I’m not sure.

I'm pretty certain I wasn't swearing but you never know!

I'm pretty certain I wasn't swearing but you never know!

‘It was surprisingly good,’ was another back handed compliment I received from my supporters. Cheers!

But, in reality, that was the easy bit over. I’d delivered a talk which I’d practiced endlessly for pretty much 24 hours. My steering wheel had received that speech 4 times over so I’d known almost exactly what I was going to say. Next came the hard bit.

Socialising like a normal human being!!

You have no idea how hard it is for an introvert like me with the social skills of an aardvark! But that’s for another blog…

Loads of people told me how I was so brave to get up and tell my story, but realistically it was really easy. The good thing about telling your own story is that you know exactly what happened. You were there, weren't you?!

And, like some of the crowd at the end told me, the other adventures were amazing and incredible but my adventure was something that was achievable, and for them, far more accessible. So even if you think your story is a bit crap, it will definitely resonate with someone.

So what are you waiting for? Get off your arse, go find a venue and tell the world your story.

And invite me. I'd love to hear it!

A Pretty Epic Wednesday Afternoon

Wow! Three massively exciting things happened on Wednesday...

Number 1

I completed my mini-book, How to Have a Microadventure. Woohoo! It’s an introduction into the brilliant life of wild camping and challenging life. It’s partly a persuasive argument that Microadventures are just what you need and partly a Rough Guide to Wild Camping.

And guess what? It’s absolutely FREE to you if you sign up to the Monthly Newsletter.

Number 2

I came back from a day out to find a wonderful box of goodies by my front door.

My books had been delivered. I’d ordered 20 copies of Microadventures and Sardines printed in case anyone at the talk I am giving NEXT WEDNESDAY fancies buying a copy.

I guess I’ll need in invest in a Sharpie for all those signatures I’m sure to be writing.

And if I don’t sell them all, I think we can all assume that we know what people’s Christmas presents are this year!

Number 3

And by far the most exciting. Kevin Merrey of Skyrise Productions, an adventure videographer who has worked with the likes of Sean Conway among others, invited me to spend the day with him doing some filming. So after dropping the sprog at nursery I made a mad dash down to the south coast where I met up with Kevin and his crew, the affable Josh and the enthusiastic Gael. We were there to film a short story of a famous adventurer that you may know…

Yes, that’s right. 3 and a half years after first reading his book I finally got a chance to meet the man, the legend, Alastair Humphreys properly rather than just a fleeting chat at the end of a talk or book signing.

They say you should never meet your idols but I can safely say that Al (I can call him Al now as we are officially best buds) is just a regular guy. Probably a little more reticent than I thought he' be but it’s to be expected when he meets a guy who wrote a book about him, pesters him on social media for wild camping advice and just happened to be wearing the same t-shirt as he was with the word Microadventures emblazoned across the front.

Maybe I came across a little stalkery. Oops!

The awkwardness was slightly set aside as I clambered into the estuary after him to film him doing some wild swimming with my GoPro, as you do.

I also managed to make a complete tit of myself. I put my drone together and discussed different exciting shot that I could do by buzzing the drone close to his bobbing head. He seemed genuinely impressed that I had the vision to come up with such dynamic shots and angles. The only problem was that I had deleted the DJI Go App off of my phone the other week when I was walking across Menorca (video coming soon) so that I could store more video. I had no way of flying my drone! The bloody App wouldn’t download either as I needed Wifi. After a manic sprint to a local tourist information office and a café, both of which failed to have any Wifi whatsoever, I walked back to the group dejected. I told them my predicament about having a wonderful sky camera and a vision of incredible shots but no way of flying the bastard thing.

‘Oh well,’ said Al magnanimously. ‘At least you won’t make that mistake again.’

‘Bollocks, sorry guys,’ I said dismantling the useless piece of expensive electronics and shoving it back in its bag disgruntledly.

Me, Josh and Kevin enjoying the heat of the midday sun.

Me, Josh and Kevin enjoying the heat of the midday sun.

We decamped to a local pub so Kevin could surreptitiously charge the battery on his own drone for some shots later in the afternoon. Kev ordered and a massive pizza and the rest of us plumped for sandwiches and soft drinks and Gael explained the complex differences between a producer, an executive producer, a line producer and a developmental producer and Josh described his upcoming Sri Lanka expedition. I also found out what a Gaffer, a Best Boy and a Grip are and no, it’s not some archaic cricket terminology.

  • Gaffer = Head Electrician
  • Best Boy = Second in charge
  • Grip = Someone who attaches cameras to stuff (cars, cranes, trolleys, etc.)

Learn something new every day.

I used the pub Wifi do download the App, not that it was much good as I had to head back to home to pick up the sprog from nursery. As I did so, I noticed how my App picked up Kevin’s drone instead of mine. ‘Kevin, what App are you using to fly your drone?’

‘Only the DJI one,’ he replied scoffing his massive mushroom pizza.

‘That’s bloody annoying. I’ve just realised that you could have flown my drone with your app.’

He looked at me resignedly. ‘Never mind, there’s always next time,’ he smiled.

'I'll pay for lunch,' said Alastair. Could this man be any nicer?!

I shook hands with everyone outside, said goodbye and drove my car back north to get the sprog. The A27 was at a complete standstill and my Satnav informed me that I would be late to collect the little one and I was still over 2 hours’ drive from home and had the M25 and Dartford crossings to deal with. My wife was going to kill me if I was late to nursery, especially as I hadn’t told her I was disappearing to the south coast to gallivant around with a load of videographers and my hero, Al Humphreys.

A crazy stressful drive home found me screeching to a stop in front of the nursery bang on 6.30.

I’d made it! It had been a manic, crazy, fun, devastating and almost calamitous day but I made it back to get the rascal and home in time to cook dinner. Apart from the drone incident it had all gone swimmingly (pun intended).

That was until the wife got home and the first thing she asked was, ‘What did you get up to today?’

‘Well, do you really want to know?’

‘What have you done?’ she looked at me suspiciously.

‘Ah, well…’