How I try and steer my daughter to appreciate that she is equally as capable as any boy
There is a video that circulated around on Facebook last year. It’s a young girl slamming Tesco for selling gender biased clothing. On one rack there are ‘girls’’ tops with slogans like ‘Hey’ and ‘I feel FAB-U-LOUS’ and on the other rack are ‘boys’’ clothes saying ‘Desert Adventurer’ and ‘Hero’ and the very articulate 8-year girl rightly points out, why can’t girls be Heroes or Adventurers?
I found this really evident when I went to buy the sprog an adventure t-shirt last year. The only one that seemed even a little bit adventurey (that is definitely not a word) was an orange top with ‘My Little Explorer Kit’ on it.
This t-shirt was in the ‘boys’’ section. Why were there no adventurey (if I use the word enough it will become a real word) tops in the ‘girls’’ section?
Screw it! I thought and bought the t-shirt anyway. I just haven’t told the sprog that it was meant for boys. We christened it her ‘adventure t-shirt’ and now she wears it on all of her adventures (which is why it is a bit faded).
Like a Girl
There was another video on YouTube created by the sanitary towel company Always. I don’t know why it takes a bunch of tampon sellers to tell us the one of the most important and striking messages for the next generation of women. The video is especially impactful.
The message is that to do something ‘Like A Girl’ should not be an insult. Girls should be proud of themselves and their achievement and they should be proud to ‘run like a girl’, ‘throw like a girl’ and ‘succeed like a girl’.
It’s one of the reasons why I have stopped using ‘like a girl’ as a comment or insult. I also try not to use other words related to females to put someone down.
Especially their genitalia! I have no idea why being a ‘fanny’ or a ‘pussy’ means you are weak. Or ‘growing some balls’ or ‘taking man up pills’ makes you stronger. It seems illogical to me that if my daughter ‘grew a pair’ that she would be able to get through a tougher situation than the person stood next to her.
And why do the ‘dog’s bollocks’ trump everyone else’s undercarriages?
Role Models
I've been actively trying to steer her in the direction of role models I think are appropriate. As far as I am concerned, Barbie can do one! As can most of the Disney princesses (barring of course Frozen’s Anna and Brave’s Merida – both of whom neglect to bag a Prince Charming as they are focused on saving their respective family members from being hacked to death by other animated characters).
Much more preferable are the My Little Pony crew. Not the stick figure Girls who trounce around their high school with biologically impossibly thin waists. The proper ponies who every episode explore the meaning of friendship in fun and exciting ways. (You can tell I’m a fan!)
She hasn’t got to that stage yet but the people I would love to be her role models are not the people that she will see on the catwalks or music videos. I would love for her to have any of the guests on Sarah Williams Tough Girl Podcast as her role models. I listen to it every week and every week I am inspired by the achievements of these incredible women. Go on, have a listen yourself. I know you’ll be hooked!
Pink
The last thing I want to encourage is her choice of ‘favourite’ colour. Why do girls have to favour pink and purple and boys prefer blue? Why, when we moved to the new house, did she automatically choose the pink room over the green or blue rooms as her new bedroom (despite it being smaller than the other two)? When did we ingrain into my daughter’s mind that pastel pathetic pink equates to feminine while cold standoffish blue means masculine?
Grrr! It grates on me!
I want the best for the sprog. I want her to know that she can be whoever she wants to be but the best person that she can be is herself, a strong independent and successful woman… eventually.
And in any colour she likes. Just not pink.