How I created a reverse advent calendar and failed to give it away to a food bank

Christmas is all about giving, right?!

So how come every morning during the first half of December thousands of people open a tiny cardboard door and TAKE a small chunk of reformed chocolate to supplement their breakfast?

Why is it that all these people are RECEIVING an unnecessary and unhealthy energy injection while thousands of people can't even afford to feed their family the basics?

That's why this year I refrained from buying myself an excessively overpriced and ridiculously over packaged bar of Cadbury's. It'd only hang smugly in my kitchen waiting for me to take 25 days to unwrap it anyway.

Instead, I decided to join a band of about 200 souls who have clubbed together as the 'Reverse Advent Calendar' group on Facebook.

The group of selfless warriors was led by the enigmatic Henry C. Blanchard (him of the NaNoWriMo writing group from November) and his enchanting partner Julia Fernando. The aim was to collect together 25 pieces of regular shopping that was desperately needed by food banks up and down the country. From tins of tuna to toilet roll. From cereal to soup. From pasta sauce to shower gel. These items would be collected together before being carted off to the local food bank just before Christmas.

The Sprog and I threw our collection of tinned tomatoes and toothpaste into a cardboard box and rushed it down to the food bank in Harlow. We arrived with about 3 minutes before they shut and the kindly man there took the box of bits and bobs off of my hands.

He was an old man.

White beard.

Big belly.

Kinda reminded me of someone...

Just kidding. He was a scrawny dude in a trendy flat cap and tight jeans.

With a big triumphant smile on my face I drove the Sprog home. Trying to explain in a 4-year old's terms why we'd just given a box of shopping to a random retro hipster in the rundown 'Rainbow Centre' was a challenge but I think I got the message across.

Anyway, we got home and told the missus about our good deed. It was only later, while checking under the tree I noticed I'd not been especially thorough in collecting the odds and ends.

Tucked behind the leg of the fake Christmas tree was an errant bottle of shampoo.

How the hell had I left that vital piece of the wash kit behind?

I glanced at my watch. There would be no time to rush back down to the food bank with this single item. It would have been a complete waste of petrol. And besides, the food bank was already closed.

Bugger!

So I did what any sane person would do.

I stole it!!

I took that bottle of shampoo that was bought specifically for those less fortunate than myself and I put it in the shower.

I'd failed at the Reverse Advent Calendar. Someone somewhere would be walking round with a greasy head of hair due to my ineptitude and selfishness while I can run my fingers through locks as silky soft as a puppy on Pedigree Chum.

However, I didn't fail at inspiring my daughter to think of Christmas as a celebration of giving. When it came to present open time on Christmas morning, the first thing she wanted to do was give her crazily wrapped gift to her mum rather than open her own boxes.

(In fact, it's the one in the picture above with the red wrapping. She wrapped it all herself!)

It was my proudest moment of the whole Christmas holiday.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!